12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: Getting Your Recovery Unstuck

by Allen Berger Ph.D.

Be honest. Few days go by where you don’t find your sense of balance thrown off by what someone said about you, how a meeting went, what your social media contacts are doing, how your fortune changed during the day, or your fears about coming events.

Most of us face this kind of anxiety, sadness, worry—call it what you will—every day of the week. Most of the times, these things seem minor, but they nibble at us, like so many paper cuts, building up and diminishing our lives.

There is a solution, uncovered 70 years ago by Bill Wilson, known around the world as Bill W., a founder of the Alcoholics Anonymous 12-step program of recovery. The solution is a practice called emotional sobriety.

The thing is, Bill W.’s discovery is NOT just for people who are recovering from addiction. It’s for everyone. Bill W., long in recovery from alcoholism, sought a solution for his continued chronic bouts of deep depression. He realized that his long-term problems occurred, in part, because his sense of self, wholeness, and well-being was completely dependent on external events. Yes, his personal value was determined by what happened to him, by how others treated him, and by what others thought of him. If people liked Bill, great. If not, he was knocked out of whack.

Bill W. found his solution in the concept of emotional sobriety, essentially the practice of learning not to try to control your emotions but rather to understand and moderate your reactions to them. In 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety, psychotherapist Dr. Allen Berger writes simply to explain and expand on this concept, combining wisdom from 12-step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous with long-accepted psychological principles. Through heart-rending stories of profound change, careful explanation, and thoughtful exercises, Dr. Berger guides you to a calmer place—and a better life.